St. Anthony of Padua

Today is the start of the 9-day novena for St. Anthony of Padua whose feast day is on June 13.

St. Anthony is invoked for the recovery of things lost.

Days before, I have had this feeling that I must join the novena. It will be a daily afternoon task to end on June 13, 2011. I hope to do this from start to finish.

I need to find something.

I lost it years ago and now i am desperate to recover it.

St. Anthony of Padua, please pray for me.


* Image taken from commons.wikimedia. org* thanks...

Providence, Coincidence or Serendipity

This is an inanity. Bear with me.

My new "balae", Mareng Lita's first name is Perlita, and she was born on the 20th of June, which is also my and my hubby's wedding anniversary. One of my best high school buddies is Pearlie, who's first name is also Perlita.

Pearlie has a daughter, Let, who was born on November 15, 1980. Nad, my bunsoy was also born exactly on the same date.

Ann, Nad's wife and my new daughter-in-law, was baptized Ann Rachelle. She's called Rachelle at home by her family and by her immediate relatives. My best buddy in college is Rachelle Recomono, who I believe is still in France where she migrated after college.

Ann was born on February 6, 1980. My niece, Tyla, share the same birthday. Poy, my second child, was born February 5, 1979. Beverly, another niece, was born February 4. Now, there are four February celebrants in my family. (Note: On February 12, 2012, Rajan Adam, Nad and Ann's son was born.)

Pearlie, my high school buddy was born March 15. Nora Alvaro, a kababata and still a close friend and kumare, was also born March 15. Nina Cruz, another very close high school friend was born May 23. Another kababata who still belongs to my circle of friends today, Susan Angeles, share the same birthday. Back in the late 60's, I hang around Pearlie and Nina most of the time when i'm in school. When I go home, I naturally gravitated towards Nora, Susan and another friend, Nene.

My bff and constant companion and confidante, Mareng Nene was born April 1. Ate Dory Villegas, my best buddy and confidante at St. Mary's was born April 1, too.

I was born exactly one month before my husband. Therefore, I am older than him and that I suppose, is a valid reason for me to be more ummmm, understanding and tolerant.

While I'm at it, Charice is on Glee and her role is that of an exchange student at William Mckinley High School. Wasn't William Mckinley the one who dreamt about the US being the big white brother to the small brown brother known as the Philippines? And wasn't that dream the core of Uncle Sam's theory of manifest destiny? Well, look who conquered who today!

Wala lang.

The Wedding

I love weddings. I remember when I was still with St. Mary's in Baliuag, I used to pass by the church twice a day, morning and afternoon, and as soon as I see that there is a wedding ceremony going on, I would enter inconspicuously and peek at the bride and groom. My order of interest would be the bride's gown, the entourage's attires and the ceremony itself. I like it when couples take personal interest and participation in almost all aspects of the wedding ceremony. I can be critical, especially when the wedding sponsors are heavily dressed up while the bride and groom are dressed down. I always believed the wedding day is for the couple to be wed and not for anyone else.

In the evening of February 14, 2011, while there was an on going wedding reception in my home for my cousin Emer and his bride Ine, my youngest son Nad came to my room as I was resting and told me he and Ann are serious about settling down this year. He said they wish to get married when his elder brother Poy is around and when it dawned on me that Poy is having a two-week vacation in April, I stifled a laugh and sighed. My son is dead serious. The first thing I asked was " Do you have savings?" to which he answered " Konti." The more I smiled.

And so began a two-month prep for The Wedding- my bunsoy's wedding to his beloved Ann. On February 23, 2011, off we went to Alido Subd. in Malolos City for the pamanhikan. It did not surprise me when i learned that they have decided on a civil wedding- Ann, being a Christian and Nad, a Catholic. However, I am resolute in my own plan to give Nad (and Ann, too) a wedding they both can look back to with fondness and with a smile on their lips. It didn't have to be in a warm sala of a judge or in an airconditioned, albeit cramped room, of a municipal or city mayor. There's got to be some way a decent, intimate ceremony can be held somewhere where the entourage and the guests will have a grand time.

Since both of them are working, I had to resort to phone calls, texts, email and FB messages so I can help them put it all together. I asked their preferred color motiff, their favorite songs, and their preferred venue. Since Poy is a lot owner at Waterwood Park in Baliuag, we were able to book it on their chosen date, April 16, 2011, at a 50% discount. It was there, while on an ocular visit, that I again met my former student at St. Mary's, Arlene Martin Tadeo, who's running a catering and an events coordination company, aside from being an alajera. We have been communicating a lot before since I always refer her to people I know who wants to invest in real property. At the time, I have been talking with a caterer from Plaridel, but seeing that Arlene's so at home in Waterwood where she is a top lot seller, I considered asking her offerings. It did not take long for me to decide on a switch. While the other caterer is good, Arlene's familiarity with Waterwood and the people who work there is a big plus. I was right. She gave me so much for so little. When i arrived at the venue on the wedding day, I thought, everyone would think this is a big one. Arlene gave me every peso's worth of the things we discussed and more. That night, I was delighted with Arlene's assistance.

For their unconditional love for their brother, Tim & Tj and Poy unselfishly shared their resources to unburden Nad and Ann with some of the necessities for their wedding. In my message, I reminded Nad to always remember the love so abundantly showered upon him by his siblings. I saw tears in Nad's eyes while they sat listening to me and i knew I mothered him the right way.

Like in Timmy's wedding in 2005, we opted to have a very small number of guests. However this time, it was a little bigger- 150 of the two families' closest relatives and friends. Being typically Pinoy, the guests' number ballooned, but again, Arlene's people were able to make adjustments and while there was really nothing left on the buffet table, no one made a fuss. After all, the last people who queued were Nad's cousins and titas( sorry people, when i get the moolah, I'll treat you all one day!).

The couple's planned civil wedding with only their immediate family present became a garden wedding of sorts. The wedding sponsors were the couple's baptism ninongs and ninangs and some are very close friends and relatives of the two families. Ninang Dith is a sister of my hubby, while Ninang Mel is my sister. While civil in character, the ceremony was so touching I always had to control my tears 'cause I just paid a hefty sum for my make up. Haha!

My Kumareng Lita, Ann's mom, cried while giving a message to Ann and Nad. And what mother-of-the-bride doesn't cry on her baby's wedding day? I did too, because when I addressed Ann, I told her that at that point I feel I still owe Nad so much, which I may not be able to give anymore, considering my circumstances (I am unemployed). Really, If I had my way, I would have enrolled Nad in a music school so he could learn to play musical instruments aside from the guitar which he learned to play on his own. I would have sent him to study robotics or cartoon writing and drawing, etc, etc. But I know Nad knows that I gave him so much of my time and attention and a lot of love, to make him whole as a person.

In 1998, I presented a project my group made (i did it alone, actually, since my classmates were only in grad school for the units) for a subject called Project Planning and Analysis. While other groups planned to put up a school, since most of us were teachers, my project was to put up an events company called Milestones. My teacher was impressed, so our group got a flat 1 in the subject. I did not know then that my plans will somehow become more tangible 13 years later while we were planning for my son's wedding. Through this wedding, I realized one didn't have to spend much to look expensive. In fact, other couples seem to spend more only to look cheap later. When love and care accompany the tasks given by those people who matter or even by professional service providers, like Arlene and another former student, Adrian Samson, the sounds provider who gave me another big discount, everything will turn out right.

It was not the traditional wedding with hordes of flower girls being carried by their moms during the processional (OMG, i hate this scene!), nor the "abays" who do not know what they were supposed to do during the ceremony. We decided to dispense with some roles which we felt were not really necessary, given that it was a civil wedding. The traditional candle sponsors were replaced with us, the mothers of the bride and groom, lighting the taper candles symbolizing the separate lives of the couple and followed by Nad and Ann lighting the unity candle symbolizing their willingness to carve a path of their own. This wasn't an original idea but the wedding of Ogie-Regine and the internet gave us so much ideas to start with. The participation of our compadre, Arch. Lito De Dios who beautifully sang The Prayer at the beginning of the ceremony (he even had the Latin part translated in Filipino), Endeth's assistance in coordinating the event, together with Rina who emceed the affair, Ann's brothers who escorted her from the car, Poy's role as the Best Man and Fhei, Ann's best friend who was the Maid of Honor- all added to the jovial mood of the afternoon which stretched into the night. My only regret in connection with this wedding was that I missed taking pictures- with all of my brothers and my sister who were all present on this occasion, with my only surviving Domingo aunt, Nana Subring, with my new balae, Mareng Perlita and with the latest addition to my family, Ann. Oh well, there are more occasions to come- like a baptism, perhaps.

Now that it's over, Nad and Ann are on their way to a journey called marriage. If I had to express another message to them again, it is to always remember that despite the stream of modern technology and lifestyles, marriage is forever. There maybe rough roads along the way, dark tunnels or rainy days, but always, it's God's promise, the sun comes out shining each new day.

Prayer for Serenity

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

I have prayed this plea to God countless of times but today, I pray it with much more fervor as i realize I have not healed from my woundedness of the years past.

Today, I ask God, in all humility, to give me the tools I need to forgive those who broke my spirit and destroyed my self worth which led me to believe for years that I am worthless because I am not the person they want me to be. Even if forgiving may not help me forget the bitter past, I would like to go through the process myself so that in the end, I may not do to anyone any of the hurtful things done to me. When the day comes, I would like to be able to say what Rabindranath Tagore wrote-

"When I stand before thee at the day's end, thou shalt see my scars and know that I had my wounds and also my healing."

Lunch at Antonio's

My group, Batch 66, made up of five boys and six girls, loves to talk, to laugh and to eat. Whichever comes first is immaterial. We are superhumans who can do all those at the same time. I enjoy going out with this group because it is not only therapeutic but more so because it is my and my hubby's social life together. No, i guess that does not do justice to the group. We all love to be together because we all care for one another. This is why I always encourage people to attend reunions- since they could alter lives and bring about welcome changes.

Just recently, we (minus our ever hardworking tycoon, Hermie, our seafaring friend, Geny and Liza, who's currently in KSA) headed south to Tagaytay for lunch. Upon the invitation of our Nanay Abeng, we left Plaridel at 6am of March 16, all very excited so much like elementary school pupils on a field trip. I prepared ham and tuna sandwiches plus coffee to-go, Guy brought egg sandwiches and nilagang saging na saba, LV prepared more than a dozen hard-boiled eggs. We made sure no one's gonna get hungry. With all our "baon" imagine a whole lot of related "kwentos" we shared. Good no one choked on the salt we put into the boiled eggs. Except that our driver had to make extra effort concentrating on his driving while Lito dishes out his multicolored jokes- mostly green.

Long before, I have already read a lot about Antonio's in Tagaytay. That it is frequented by celebs and politicians; that it is an alternative to another place called Sonia's Garden; that it serves the best steak among all fine dining restos around; and that, it is a very pricey restaurant- so pricey I felt a certain amount of guilt eating there even if I did not pay for my lunch. For the bread in squid ink with butter, strawberry balsamic drink, the farm mesclun bleu d'Auvergne crumble, glazed walnuts, dried currants, cranberries w/ raspberry vinaigrette salad, grilled certified angus beef prime rib eye steak, our choice of olive rice or mashed potato and the three flavored sorbet- our gracious host paid Php18,000.00++. I can't help but think, my, it is already a third of our food budget for Nad's wedding. It took me many nights thinking about an 18k lunch for 8. And while i thoroughly enjoyed it, I had to admit I may never return such favor to our gracious host- naaah, not in this lifetime. (It should be noted that her graciousness did not end in Tagaytay, for we still had to enjoy later in ResortsWorld- watching Kaos and a chinese dinner at Tao Yuan. Perhaps the best thing about that day is seeing how completely gracious and benevolent Nanay Abeng was to share with us an experience so common to her, but is totally astonishing for the rest of us.

I will forever remember this rare chance of lunching with the ladies (and gents, too)in such a very cool, green and nice place as Antonio's. Someday, I'd like my children to experience such luxury, not so much because it is a necessity, but because it widens one's horizon and enriches one's character and personality.

Bunsoy is Getting Married

What goes on inside a mother's head when her bunsoy tells her he's getting married?

So much! Like, will he be a good husband to his wife and a good father to his future children? Like, will he be able to pass all of life's quizzes and tests as he goes along his new journey? Like, will he still be the bunsoy who calls out to me as soon as he reaches the gate to our house?

So many more thoughts keep spinning in my head. But for now, i am quite excited trying to mount a very intimate, solemn and memorable wedding ceremony for my Nad and his beloved Ann. I am now beginning to teach myself to be just in the shadows because I am aware that as soon as a child gets married, his priorities will change and a mother's previous roles will have to be relegated to her son's future wife. If only for that, I welcome and accept my future daughter-in-law with my whole heart.

Sweet days ahead, Nad & Ann!

Cold, Cold Nights ( and Days, Too)

It's been too long since I experienced cold days and nights hereabouts. When we were still small kids, I remember my Inang Tale would prepare jute sacks above our sleeping mats for us to lie on. Back then, (I'm talking of the roaring 60's) we would always be in sweaters between the months of November and February. Aside from the sweaters, we would use very thick blankets, those that were issued to military men like my father.

When I was in college, sweaters and jackets were a must for students at the onset of the -ber months. UP had a climate different from the rest of QC where it is nestled. Maybe because of the trees that abound and of course the absence of too much heat from transport modes. Today it must have changed tremendously.

I've always liked wearing sweaters- the kind that fully covers my neck and arms. Because of climate change, I suppose, we are now experiencing cold, cold days and nights. While the weather has become harsh in some parts of the country and elsewhere in the world, I welcome the cool change. It makes me want to stay in bed a little later in the mornings and a little earlier in the evenings- with or without the hubby around.

The cold weather affirmed what I believed in since before- my bed is the best place on earth. Sorry, but no one is allowed there except my one and only hubby.