Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Fatima Ferrer Inocencio Tejada

Today, January 14, my first born Timmy, turns 32.

Timmy was born under very depressing circumstances. Two years into my marriage in 1978, I was devastated by the realities of my early married life. It was tough. I was alone, with no mother to turn to. Everyone around me then and every star in heaven seemed to conspire to make me the most pathetic wife at the time. It was then that I had to make a choice whether I should fight for my marriage and make it work or live a life of my own- with a newborn daughter. Enlightenment came fast and easy. I realized that Timmy was born out of love. She was no accident. She does not deserve to be punished and live a complicated life just because some people tried to make life so difficult for me (They have since been justly chastised). She deserved a complete, functional and happy family because she did not ask to be born. My problems then were not hers. It was up to me and her father to raise her the best way possible so that her life will be much better than ours.

Two brothers later, Timmy's life slowly unfolded. Looking back, I believe it was a charmed life. She turned out to be every mother's dream daughter. The dictionary will run out of positive adjectives to describe her as a person, as a daughter, as a sister, as a friend, and now as a wife to an equally lovable husband, TJ. The 'beast' in her, if ever there was, seldom makes itself evident, not even during the times when the devil and some run-away witches taunt and provoke her. My daughter stands on firm ground, I am sure of that and that makes me very proud of her.

Tim and I survived the first storms of our life. She had her first taste of such a storm when I was eight months heavy with her. An in-law, who was both heavily intoxicated and under the spell of the prince of darkness at the time, wanted me and my husband out of their family home. In my husband's absence, he swore and hurled invectives at the very pregnant me with a voice that disturbed the heavens. I swear I did not say nor do anything that merited such a spectacle from him. In the first place, what can I do or say when I was the odd one in his own territory where he is feared by even his elders? All I did was cry and I promised myself that I will protect my unborn child from demons of this kind. Many more of this kind of 'palabas' took place , disturbing the relative peace and serenity of my own family, and each time, I kept my cool and tried to keep in mind all the patience and perseverance that I learned from my father. But I wrote in my journal that one day, I will fight back and get even with him. I did not have to, because years later, God took care of him.

The later storms in our life would be rougher and more destructive, but Tim showed a brand of steadfastness one would not think could ever come from a frail body like hers. It's amazing how she coped with the many 'suddenlys' in our family life. Timmy is love personified. Her devotion to and affection for her brothers are so real, it makes me want to say I can go anytime 'cause my sons are in good hands.

To the best daughter in the world, happy, happy birthday. I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, can pass on this love which has been given to you abundantly.

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